“‘Let me sleep on it’ is not always a way of postponing a decision.
It may also be a recourse to the folk wisdom that knows:
there is more than one way to think about a problem.” – A. Alvarez
Lately, I’ve been playing with my communication.
Noticing how I enter into communication more closely.
Attempting to be a little more like this Celtic friendship blessing I came across recently:
I honor your Gods
I drink at your well
I bring an undefended heart to our meeting place
I have no cherished outcomes
I will not negotiate by witholding
And I am not subject to disappointment
Because my habitual, unconscious way?
A little more on the defensive side,
usually several cherished outcomes,
and negotiating by witholding –
familiar with that flavor also.
Yet something rang so clear and true in that last line
“I am not subject to disappointment”
(even though on one level, of course I am, technically, as a sensitive human being)
I still love the idea of entering into every communication –
whether with my husband, my family,
the people I work with, friends, strangers, myself,
or even a massively important do-or-die relationship like sleep –
holding this deep blessing as a north star.
Even when I fail miserably.
(I recently heard Seth Godin state ‘Those who fail the most win’
What would our next conversation – with anyone –
be like if this intention filled our minds, hearts,
agendas, pockets, eyes, fingertips and breath?
What would SLEEP be like
if we approached it each night
with this blessing?
If sleep was like a lover, a wise teacher, a force of nature, a best friend?
I honor your Gods, I drink at your well
I bring an undefended heart to our meeting place
I have no cherished outcomes, I will not negotiate by witholding…
and I am not subject to disappointment.
Hmmm.
Why Sleep Tips Don’t Work
Bless my hero Dr. Naiman for keeping it real in the sea of hype about sleep tips.
“Contrary to how we commonly conceive of it, sleep is not just another activity, competitive event or strategic outcome that can be tweaked into excellence. Sleep is an experience — a personal subjective experience of another kind of consciousness.
It’s an exquisite experience that just cannot be reduced to
or managed in terms of a simple set of tips.”
He reminds us that we live in a culture
that tends to mistake numbers for absolute truth,
and that quantifying ‘tips’ lends them an undeserved air of scientific authority.
Also, people who already have a tendency to Type A approach their life, often tend to do the same with their health and wellness, and they can easily become obsessive about doing ‘all the right things’ for their sleep, which can exacerbate anxiety.
It’s not that sleep tips are never helpful,
they just aren’t supposed to be offered in isolation.
“Sleep transformation is about a shift in our fundamental perspective –
not just a change in behavior or strategies, but also a change of heart.
It begins with a thorough reconsideration of what sleep actually is,
and depends on our willingness to complement scientific and medical perspectives with personal, subjective and spiritual experiences.”
Would you like to have a conversation about how I may be able to help you with your sleep well being?
Just send me a note here.